| (no subject) |
[Jun. 11th, 2006|11:17 pm] |
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
I GIVE UP! I DONT WANT A RELATIONSHIP, I JUST WANTED A FUCKING FRIENDSHIP BUT EVEN THATS TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR....
GO FUCK YOURSELF. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 9th, 2006|08:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed, in love | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Depressing Love Songs | ] |
Life isnt as awesome as i hope.... my gf is 1000miles apart and its really depressing. Her mom doesnt want me talking to her... my moms finding more and more things out. she knows im going out with jess and now she thinks im drinking... soon shes gonna start assuming the smoking thing... i dont know where my 'true' friends went because everyones being distant with eachother lately... I just want one thing and thats to actually spend time with my baby but its not happening for another 2months... everyone is bitching about how they dont get to hang out with their girlfriend/boyfriend yet they see them EVERYDAY in school, but they dont get to hang out... Well guess what I DONT GET TO SEE MINE FOR MONTHS AT A TIME. SHUT UP!!!!!!!! everyones pissing me off and to make it even better i have a burn on my face from my friends cigarette so i look like shit to top everything off... grrrrrr, im so glad i found this journal again cause no one i really know reads this anymore... I HATE PEOPLE
I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND
I LOVE JESSICA
I LOVE MY BABY
11*4*05 <3333333333333 |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 25th, 2006|01:04 am] |
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Lifes boring... nothing too new... Jess is in florida... been 2 months since i seen her. missin my baby badly. she'll be home in a month.... missing many friends.... not sure whos real anymore... lifes boring... lifes gay... life sucks... im dealing... ehhh |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 18th, 2005|10:48 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | RENT: Take Me or Leave Me | ] |
Shes home. ^.^ yay jessica's home... hung out with her today... finally!!! so happy |
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| My Hearts Currently: In Florida |
[Dec. 3rd, 2005|01:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | upset, lonely! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Mix CD: Jess | ] |
Yea so tomorrow is me and jessicas 1 month anniversary and shes in florida... i just want to see her so bad. i miss her so much. i cant believe its gonna be 2weeks without her. For the first week i cryed almost everyday but last week i cryed maybe 2 times... i talk to her everyday... but its just not the same. i want to hold her! i want to kiss her! i want to see her! i want to feel her! I want to be with her! only 2 other people understand this emotion of being in love with someone so far away. i fucking love her so much... ok.. i have to go. |
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| Take away this nightmare |
[Nov. 13th, 2005|11:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | icky, upset | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Boys and Girls by Kill Hannah | ] |
Went to SING with jess and Lori... it was fun. yea so i went to the mall on friday with Jess, Krissy and Kaitlin and then Danille and Megan. jess got taken home and calls me and tells me shes getting sent to Florida next Saturday... so yet again we make it to 2 weeks in the relationship cause next friday is 2 weeks. it fucking sucks... yea so we hung out last night... she slept over... hopefully we can hang out alot before she leaves... i really hope her parents change their minds cause i dont want her to leave. |
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| why cant i feel anything from anyone other than you? |
[Nov. 5th, 2005|03:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Taking Back Sunday | ] |
Well the suicide prevention thing was ok but i wasnt happy cause Jess and paulina started going out about 5min before the meeting. So im sitting there and lori, aleyson and krissy are trying to make me smile but it didnt work. thats ok tho... so yea last night me, jess and angela were walking to Aleysons house and jess goes 'i dont want to go out with paulina. go out with me' and im like 'umm *thinks* idk' and she calls up paulina and breaks up with her and askes me out again and i was like idk. then angela was telling me that she really does love me like i love her and jess got down on her knees and asked me back out. it was really cute and i did want to say yes and it was so cute so now im not single. thats really cool. i happy... ok bye |
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| With your games i will never fall for. |
[Nov. 1st, 2005|05:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sick | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Taking Back Suday | ] |
well i dont really remember last week that much. lets just start with friday. Friday was a half a day so a bunch of people went to the applebees to celebrate Krissys bday. then me and and jess went to the mall and hung out with stina and alexa. Then saturday was *thinks* ok yea saturday me,stina and alexa went to Jessicas house and watched a movie and just had fun.yup and then sunday *thinks really hard again* me, jess and lori waited for stina to get out of school and then we went to her house and watched movies. Then me and jess went to great kills. Then yesterday was halloween. I left school after 9th to take care of jess who was fucked up. then me, krissy and antonio took care of her. they left and me and jess went to great kills again. had fun... but it didnt seem like halloween...
yea so then today. i woke up and felt like shit and had to drag around all fucking day... sucks very much. later i have to go out and get tutoring for some shit... idk. tomorrow during 5th period im going to a suicide prevention thing... yup ok. bye |
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| i made a commitment im willing to bleed for you |
[Oct. 23rd, 2005|03:04 pm] |
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life is gay. *sigh* ok so for most of the week lori was absent which made me lonely. and monday aleyson was absent. thursday stina started ignoring me.... who knows why. but thursday things got good between me and jess and then friday really good between me and jess. then the mall on friday sucked. i went with lori <3 which was nice but then stina ruined it because i said hi and got a dirty look and she didnt even want to talk to me until lori made her... dont know why im bothering with her shit but i am.... i just hate losing a friend and thats whats happening now... but im gonna get over it. im giving her one last chance to save this friendship... then im done. whatever. i broke my glasses and im waiting for new ones... so tomorrow in school i get out of gym cause im blind... yup. bye |
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| i miss being us |
[Oct. 17th, 2005|11:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crappy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Dirty Little Secret | ] |
Saturday was aleyons bday 'party'. we watched a movie where a girl got raped by a tree... it was amazing lol. yea so that was cool. me and lori were our own little thing cause the rest (besides aleyson and emily) arent really being nice to eachother... but thats ok... then sunday went to barbaras and had fun... today SUCKED. i found out i failed math, most likely failing chem, barely passing global and not too good in italian... grrrrrrrr. then i went to jessicas and she asked me back out but i couldnt soo thats not happening... grr idk... yea whatever... bye |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 13th, 2005|10:34 pm] |
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monday there was no school and tuesday i babysat til 12:45am. but i had stina talking to me on the phone for the last 45min so i wasnt dying from boredum and then we talked til about 2:15 at which time we both fell alseep on the phone. wednesday i woke up and she calls telling me she has a surprise and shes at school which she shouldnt be cause she can barely walk. so i got to school and sat in her car and then i walked while she limped her way up to school lol aww it was cute. then after school i went to Senior SING with her so i could help her and then i went home. I was SOAKED and then i went to lori's house and hung out. it was fun.. me and her ate away our misery and depression. i love doing that with her cause atleast we arent miserable, depressed and alone. yup and then there was no school today. i went and got my hair done and then came home... that was it. nothing fun or exciting. thought i was hanging out with aleyson but it didnt happen so whatever. dont care.... tomorrow is friday and school. fun... yup bye |
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| best friends means I pull the trigger |
[Oct. 7th, 2005|11:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | discontent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | TBS | ] |
showcase for a cause was ok... i had fun until it was over and i was hanging out and GRRRRR. so much drama. first theres all this drama at lunch and then i have to deal with it again... im sorry that i love someone that doesnt love me back... IM IN LOVE and I DO STUPID THINGS... grrr i blame myself. i set myself up for the let down |
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| lately ive been a shell of myself |
[Oct. 4th, 2005|01:34 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | ehhh | ] |
| [ | music |
| | MEST | ] |
saturday was ehh. me and my friends drank and there was a problem so i called up my other friend to help and then we got caught... ehhh. then i had to sleep over someones house and just gayyyy.
then yesterday school sucked. last night i think i made someone mad at me and today sucks already and i just woke up like 2 hours ago. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 1st, 2005|11:23 am] |
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last night was interesting. involved alcohol, hickeys, and drama, tears and pain. what else is new? but the drama, tears and pain was my fault... IM SORRY!!! i didnt mean to. tonight will be different. i wont use my fone, i wont cry over that again. im sorry to ruin your night!..... right so besides that it was really fun. i gave my first hickey thing and OMG im fucking amazing at it lol the kids neck is so fucked up from it. hehe ok bye |
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| The sad part is that i'm not even worth the arguement |
[Sep. 25th, 2005|11:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  want to sleep forever | ] |
| [ | music |
| | TBS:The Union | ] |
MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!! hmmm i wonder. can you curse on LJ? hmm apparently
Whatever.... i feel not worth it. i wonder why they put up with me. im obnoxious, annoying, boring, stupid, mean, bitchy... why do they bother? but my real question is why am i bothering? not with myself but with them... if she doesnt care then why am i caring.... my new saying:
The sad part is that i'm not even worth the arguement
im not even worth it... im just taking up your air... dont worry. ill give you your space... you need all that air for yourself. ill just stay away for it all... from you, from your friends, from your life... dont worry. its all yours. dont let me get in the way...
So for everyone reading this im sorry that it doesnt make much sense... i have to get things out but dont worry it will probably get deleted soon. =/ |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 22nd, 2005|09:19 pm] |
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school has been bad. I have gym with stina, math with ariel, lunch with aleyson and gina <333, music with Alex(stinas ex), global, chem, english with lori <33, and then italian with the old group minus amanda.... yea except things have been shit for the most part... i dont want to get into anything.... bye |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 7th, 2005|01:50 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] |
| [ | music |
| | SILVERSTEIN | ] |
yea yea yea i havent updated but who really cares? GreenDay concert was awesome and then friday night was fun.... saturday was ok and than sunday, monday and tuesday sucked.
Sunday my grandparents came over and they are just EVIL
Monday my aunt and uncle came over and they are cool but it sucks that i have to walk around the block to have a cigarette... i was bored
Tuesday i sat in my house and watched TV because there was nothing better to do.
Tomorrow im probably gonna go to the mall for the Last time before school starts... im ready for school tho so its cool... just gotta finish a report... bye |
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| this sudden fear has left me trembling |
[Aug. 31st, 2005|11:34 pm] |
well today was ok. Me, lori, lauren and stina were suppose to hang out at this little beach formation thing we found but lori cancelled and it started to rain alittle. So it was me, stina and lauren sitting in a parking lot and they were eating and we just sat on top of the car. it was fun for wat we were doing. Then we went to dunkin donuts and stina shoved munchkins in my face which was not good but they tasted ok... she says i never eat around her so thats why she shoved them in my mouth... *evil glare* lol and we made lauren almost spit up her coffee with was amazingly funny. Then Stina was playing the game I win which reminded me of chelsea cause we always played that game... i never won =( then we went to the mall and got separated after awhile so we all just went home.... then i watched Weeds with my parents and now im here alone with my away message up cause i dont want to really talk to anyone.
OHHH and GREENDAY CONCERT TOMORROW NIGHT!!! yay bitches lol |
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| all around me is fast moving |
[Aug. 31st, 2005|12:58 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Avril | ] |
1. Go into your LJ's archive.
2. Find your 23rd post. (or closest to)
3. Find the 5th sentence. (or closest to)
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions
So before we went to her friends house we went to the store and got me a 6 pack and her some dutches.
Haha that was the weekend my parents were away and my brother gone and my sister took me to her friends house and i drank while they smoked.... mad fun day there... lol |
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| falling apart and all that im asking |
[Aug. 30th, 2005|12:18 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | bored, kinda worried | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Alexz Johnston:Under My Skin | ] |
Last night was me being all worried and sad but lets not get into that.... Today i woke up at 1 and took a shower and got ready. So me and barbara wanted to hang out so we planned on going to the mall. So her, me, lauren and other people go to the mall and hang out. So alittle after 7 or whatever stina called and asked if i wanted to take a drive cause she didnt want to drive home by herself or something. idk but i said yea cause i wanted to kinda watch her anyway.... dont ask im weird with certain friends, k? yea so i said bye to people and got in her car. So me her and her friend go driving and stop at this little beach area and it was really pretty and we were just talking. Then we drove to this haunted area or whatever and they swore they saw something but i wasnt lookin cause i didnt want to see anything. So yea then we got lost in tottenville lol and then we go to Port Richmond to drive her friend home... yea so driving back to the mall we just talked about her and stuff and then she dropped me off at Best Buy and i hung out with lauren and christine and some guy. Then laurens mom drove me home.... now im sitting here bored. |
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